The Importance of Walking

These shoes were made for...

These shoes were made for...

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing.. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, ‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,…… just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.


Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.


8 responses to “The Importance of Walking

  1. The first one-liner sounded like something you would write – then I got to the second one and though “Say WHAT??”
    Then I caught on… My brain must still be in morning mode – alternately it’s too close to spring break for my grey ones to be operating at full capacity!

  2. Those are good. Oh and those shoes were made for cutting the grass?

  3. Hehehehehehe – I’ve heard some of those before, but they are all pretty amusing!

    Love the one about washing my mouth out with chocolate!

  4. All too true. And I’m with Baggie.. you can wash my mouth out with chocolate anytime!

  5. LOL…thanks for the smile 🙂