Ramblings of an old lady

My high school reunion is coming up in 15 more weeks. #25. Some of my old classmates have been busy pre-partying and the pics are up on facebook. All of my old classmates look better than me (this from the delusional woman who can look in a mirror and still see a thin person peering back at her). And yet… some of the pictures show them clinging to youth with drunken abandon. And I think, “Who would want those particular pictures out there on the internet for your children/boss/co-workers/pastor/you-name-it to see?” This alone puts me in the “mature woman” category — not because I am mature and they aren’t, but because I am talking like an old lady… and I’m a little concerned about tagged photos of me showing up in August.

I started rounding my age up in my early 30’s. Many women I admired were older by a few years and I wanted to be in their age bracket, so for a few years I was 35, and then I spent 4 years being 40. In some ways, this kept a new decade from being a shock. (I’d been saying I was that old for 4 years, after all!) After 40, my husband asked me to only age one year at a time. (male ego, much?)

I suspect that your “worst” decade is the one where you have the greatest stresses happening all at once. In my case, this decade began a few months prior to my 35th birthday — which means my decade is going to last longer than a decade, because really? How can I end the worst decade and begin a new & better one with my firstborn off at college, the next one a high school senior, the third child a high school freshman, and my baby in his last year of grade school? This sounds like crisis mode to me! Not to mention (but I am) my husband threatening to retire at this very same point and throwing my life into more change and upheaval. Oh, wait… did someone say the word CHANGE in regards to a middle-aged woman? I’ve got a hot flash for you: Happy Pills can’t even begin to touch this scenario. Trust me, I’ve tried.

10 responses to “Ramblings of an old lady

  1. i am sure it wont help to say ‘change is good and blah blah blah’ but i think youll be okay, as far as the old lady rant is concerned, i have the same feelings towards the people i went to highschool with and have had them since highschool so i dont know what kind of lady that makes me…

  2. When I look at my class mates from high school – I actually feel quite well preserved. After hours in a sun bed, many of them look like apple dolls…
    I can’t say it looks any better than my scar from acne among the beginning wrinkles. Also, I have gained 20 lbs in the last year – but deep down I’m still the same person. (Don’t tell anyone my favourite jeans developed a rip over my behind when I sat down today…)
    I would say that you are a whole lot more of a genuine person whom people love for the one you are, than the gals who display their boobs on facebook.
    Go to the reunion and be proud of the fantastic woman, friend, mother and wife you are!

  3. I hadn’t thought about it, but this would be my 25th high school reunion too. Fork it!

  4. You young thing you – this would be … OMG – 32 years for me! I think I went at 10 years for one evening because I happened to be in town. Our class was so large that the few people I knew, I either still saw regularly or they were in the class the year ahead of me.

    Don’t worry about the surgically altered classmates, they are probably the ones that were shallow at school. As for them looking younger than you in photos – in real life, you might find a different truth.

  5. heh, i was always young for my year in school, and still tend to have a number of older friends… so the “big ages” are never a shock to me, because i’m the last one to turn it. half the time i’ve already started thinking i’m the new age before my bday comes around, so i’m really confused when it IS my bday – am i a year older than i’ve been saying? or was i wrong saying i was 28 all this time? AHH!

    although i know my parents were heartbroken when my sister and i left home, it.. um.. didn’t take them long to acclimate. they’re awfully happy now having the place all to themselves, and my mom has gotten to work redoing all the rooms in the house. i believe she’s working on #4 now 😛

  6. This is my husband’s 25th HS reunion year too. I don’t know, I’ve watched several of my friends really struggle with empty nest/retirement issues….that is why I am back in school right now, having seen how it happens, I am hoping that I can head off any issues by having a new chapter starting for myself…so I have a new identity to slip into with some measure of grace. Does that make sense? I don’t want to feel like I am just out of a job once my kids leave…so…

  7. I really think that if you plan it out the empty next doesn’t have to be a terrible thing. There are many possibilities. I agree with Mary Alice that it is important to begin on your next chapter before they leave.

  8. Gulp — this would be my 29th reunion this year! What I noticed at my 10 and 20 year ones is that the women all looked great, and the men had *aged* — especially the football players (got fat) and the “cute” boys who don’t age as well. Funny enough the best looking guy there was the smallest guy in high school. That was neat to see, because so many picked on him due to his size and intelligence. … At any rate, relax and have a great weekend. I’m baking my 77 cents a pound ham tonight in a bourbon and maple glaze (“some glaze for the ham, and some for me.” 🙂

  9. ProHMKR made me laugh! Some for the ham, some for me, *giggle*

    This year would be my 19th high school reunion. Y’all are making me feel fantabulously young! I’ll hit the 37 on the birthday chart this year.

    Hang in there Gal! But, whoa on the boys all heading college way so back-to-back! At least the little one still have several years left as a home-boy 🙂 What a Mom you are!

  10. I never look at my class mates from high school.
    So I don’t worry about age.
    You will handle whatever chaos comes I’m sure.